1. | The Finer Points of Poverty by Timothy Ward I'm poor. And I'm not ashamed of it. Actually, I'm kind of proud of myself for being poor. It's an accomplishment that many people will never attain. Some people will go through their whole life and never know what it's like to experience some of the finer points of poverty like eating ramon noodles for ... | |||
2. | If Real People Ran the Bank - I (a spoof for the heart) by Lynella Grant Banish Loans Forever If ordinary, hard-working, people ran the bank... the very first thing to get rid of would be loans. Absolutely no more loans! Because once they’re gone, there wouldn’t be any more: - Due dates - Interest charges - at any rate of interest - Late ... | |||
3. | satirical poetry about contemporary problem by malcolm james pugh All Hail. Is your hospital full of aliens, despite new cleaning firms, Antenna waving buggies, And creepy crawly germs, Then dont waste another second, now were into election spin, Just complain, over and again, and up pops smiley smiley grin. You just have to critiscise, or mention cancellation lists, And smiley smiley grin appears, ... | |||
4. | You think your roommate's bad by dan the roommate man My worst roommate (and I've had some bad ones) was on my semester at Tel-Aviv University. It started on the group flight there, with this obnoxious surfer looking guy who was seated next to me (I was on an aisle, he was in the middle). On the ten hour flight, he had me put something ... | |||
5. | What I Learned From a Woman's Magazine by David Leonhardt It's amazing what you can learn about marketing if you can just find the time to spend in a dentist's waiting room. I was reading a certain woman's magazine, which will remain nameless because of my allergy to lawsuits. The magazine obviously has figured out what sells well, given that it operates on a ... | |||
6. | My Identity Crisis by David Leonhardt When we are young it is all so simple. We know exactly what I want to "be" when we grow up. You know what it's like: "I want to be a fireman." I want to be a ballerina." "I want to be a movie star." "I want to be a nuclear physicist ... | |||
7. | The Kids Are Taking Over by David Leonhardt Once upon a time, I harbored a quaint notion of child development. In the my imaginary world, children eventually transmogrified into those horror-movie monsters called teenagers. They would overrun the house for a few years, scorching and pillaging along the way...but leaving no lasting damage that a new mortgage and a five-year Caribbean ... | |||
8. | No Respect in the Waiting Room by David Leonhardt "Hello. I'm here for my appointment with the dermatologist." "Please be seated. I'll call you when Dr. Kristoph is ready." "Well, I am five minutes early, so I guess I'll wait." Fifteen minutes later... "Excuse me. I had an appointment with Dr. Kristoph ten minutes ago. Is everything alright? "Oh yes, very much. ... | |||
9. | Revealed -- mint conspiracy holds tooth brushers hostage! by David Leonhardt Some things are as boring as the dust that clings to your TV screen. Take toothpaste, for example. If you happen to be a radical mint enthusiast, brushing your teeth might be the highlight of your day. You might have the shiniest teeth in town. You might not want to interrupt your brushing ... | |||
10. | Our House is a Danger Zone by David Leonhardt Home is where the heart is, so they say. But for 20,000 Americans each year, home is where the heart stops beating. According to a 2002 study, that's how many Americans fall victim to fatal injuries in their own homes. At this rate, it will take just 14,750 years for clumsiness and carelessness to ... | |||
11. | Just Because The Phone Rings... by David Leonhardt Brrrrrringgg. The telephone rang. It was as predictable as Niagara Falls. We had just sat down to a piping hot dinner, so of course the telephone would ring. My wife reminded me that just because the phone rings, doesn't mean we have to answer it, but... "Hello," I answered. "Good evening, sir. I ... | |||
12. | The Animal Rights Summit by David Leonhardt Is it just me, or is society becoming increasingly polarized? It seems like for every action there is an equaller and oppositer reaction. For and against war. For or against the environment. For or against the family. Consider the role animals play in society. No, I am not referring to politicians, ... | |||
13. | How not to Compromise With Your Partner by David Leonhardt Do you ever disagree with your spouse? Or your boyfriend or girlfriend? Of course not - she/he/it is perfect, right? You can imagine my shock when my friend confided in me that he and his wife often fought over tiny things. "You're kidding." "Yes, we fight over the tiniest, most unimportant things," he confirmed. "Well, why don't ... | |||
14. | 3 Surefire Ways to Combat Rising Gas Privces! by Timothy Ward I have heard the rumblings of many of you in Readerland about the recent spike in gasoline prices. In fact it's all I seem to hear about lately. But at least it keeps you from rumbling about the infrequency of my columns and articles. Nonetheless, I have decided to try to help you get through this crisis by generously providing: 3 Ways ... | |||
15. | Very Precise Fortune Cookies by David Leonhardt I cracked open the fortune cookie and read the little slip of paper on the inside. Immediately I realized that it had been written by a weather forecaster. "You will be approached in the late afternoon by a pink polka-dot octopus..." It continued on the other side: "... and asked to provide details of your application ... | |||
16. | Curbing the Public Nuisance (Part 2) by David Leonhardt Yes, that pillar of society that has been with us since that slithery dude threw humanity for a curve in the Garden of Eden - that cornerstone of society has been automated. I am speaking, of course, of the public nuisance ( I wrote about him in Curbing the Public Nuisance (Part 1). ) No ... | |||
17. | Curbing the Public Nuisance (Part 1) by David Leonhardt He's been around since the dawn of humanity. His profession is even older than the world's oldest profession. He's been loathed and reviled by politicians, bureaucrats and hot dog vendors. I am speaking, of course, of the public nuisance. He was that slithery dude in the Garden of Eden, taunting folks to shoplift. "Go on. ... | |||
18. | Could You Be A Workaholic? by David Leonhardt If you need to put on boots and grab a lap-top computer to relieve yourself at night, you might be a redneck workaholic. It never crossed my mind that there could be such a thing as a redneck workaholic, until I read a column on "Are you a workaholic?" "Did you read this?" I asked my wife. ... | |||
19. | Growing Pains by David Leonhardt Growing up is never easy. Just ask Little Lady, almost three- and-a-half, how hard it is. She'll tell you. "It's really, really hard. Half way through the day, my parents are a complete wreck." She's right. Sometimes the tension in here gets so thick you could almost slice it with a turbo-jet, ... | |||
20. | Welcome to my stress-free world by David Leonhardt What the world needs more of is...stress. This means I must deliver a formal apology to all 17,124 subscribers to my newsletter, A Daily Dose of Happiness, for running a series on stress reduction tips and wasting their time in such a frivolous fashion, when they could be using that time to watch ... | |||
21. | Spider's Night on the Boom by Gary E. Anderson Spider's Night on the Boom (An excerpt from the book Spider’s Night on the Boom) by Gary E. Anderson www.abciowa.com I've never been what you'd call a wild child. When I was in grade school, the most negative thing teachers used to write on my report cards was "can't keep hands off other students." In high school, I deliberately ... | |||
22. | I Can't Weight - One Man's Diet by Gary E. Anderson I Can't Weight—One Man's Diet (From the book Spider’s Big Catch) Gary E. Anderson www.abciowa.com Like many people, I've decided I need to take off a little weight from the holidays—the holidays of six years ago. But I've never dieted before, so being a conscientious kinda guy, I logged into my favorite web browser for some advice. I found 3,978,158,342 ... | |||
23. | The Self-employed Employer by David Leonhardt It's that time of year again, when all Canadians rush to their mailboxes, their corner stores or their neighbor's houses to read the latest edition of Magazine. For those who don't know it, Maclean's is the Canadian equivalent of Time or Newsweek, and the time of year is the annual Top 100 Employers report ... | |||
24. | Mr. Cheapie's Frugal Shopping Tips by David Leonhardt Hello. Mr. Cheapie here again with three more fantastic I-can't- believe-I-didn't-think-of-that frugal shopping tips. I already gave you my best frugal eating tips. Now let's move away from food, because it is to always important to buy the sizzle, not the steak. That's the first tip. If the steak was any good, ... | |||