A very zealous soul-winning yo*ng preacher recently cameupon a Farmer working in his field. Being concerned aboutthe farmer's soul the preacher asked the man, "Are youlaboring in the vineyard of the Lord, my good man?"

Not even looking at the preacher and continuing his work,the farmer replied, "Naw, these are soybeans."

"You don't understand," said the preacher. "Are youa Christian?"  

With the same amount of interest as his previous answer the farmer said, "Nope my name is Jones. You must be lookingfor Jim Christian. He lives a mile south of h*re."

The determined preacher tried again asking the farmer,

"Are you lost?"

"Naw! I've lived h*re all my life," answered the farmer.

"Are you prepared for the resurrection?" the frustratedpreacher asked.

This caught the farmer's attention and he asked, "When'sit gonna be?"

Thinking he had accomplished something the yo*ng Preacherreplied, "It could be today, tomorrow, or the next day!"

Taking a handkerchief from his back pocket and wiping hisbrow, the farmer remarked, "Well, don't mention it to mywife. She don't get out much and she'll wanna go all threedays!"

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For our honeymoon my fiancee and I chose a fashionable hotel known for its luxurious suites.

When I called to make reservations, the desk clerk inquired,"Is this for a special occasion?"

"Yes, it's our honeymoon," I replied.

"Oh, wonderful! And how many adults will there be?" she asked.

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Two men were discussing cars and one of them mentioned he had once owned a Rolls-Kinardly.

"What is a Rolls-Kinardly?" his friend asked.

"That is a car that rolls down one hill and kin hardly get up the next."  

Editors note: I think I have owned a couple of those!